Yesterday I was feeling really low. I kept crying and I thought to myself, life is crap. Then I remembered the best is yet to come.

I have covid, like millions of others I’m sure. Now I didn’t think it would phase me being stuck at home. I love being at home and I like my own company, I’m even “stuck” with my boyfriend 24/7 (stuck – only joking). Anyways I’m finding it hard. To not be able to just walk out the door, go to the shops or go see my mum is weird. To be stuck in a house, that I love of course, but to just try and fill my day. Then I remembered those who are actually stuck. Stuck at home with an abuser. Then I felt guilty for feeling like this.

I had an email from my solicitor saying I owe over £800. I asked for that invoice last year and now he’s sent it just before Christmas. Thank you very much. It just reminds me of my domestic abuse. The title is always my property that I own and can’t enter. Whenever I see any correspondence about it I flinch. I used to be worse but I still hate it today.

Then following on from that I receive constant letters from my mortgage suppliers solicitors. Yes I completely understand from working in the financial industry that it’s by law they need to send the letters. I’m okay with it, I don’t even open them now. They know it’s abuse and I can’t do anything. But what about them people that can’t stomach it? Can’t ask for help. Has to relive the moment everytime the post man comes?

So when I sat thinking about all these things I thought to myself, will it matter in 5 years time? Probably not. Well I hope not, I hope the repossessions done by then. I remembered, the best is yet to come.